I was reminded of a letter published through Elephant Journal that I wrote for my sons 6 years ago. The windy day took me back to the insight and intuition I began to develop during a time of deep inward reflection and self-imposed quarantine. It was instinctual and needed after one of the most traumatic events of my life. I worked a full time job that was averaging 50 hours a week not including significant and lengthy overnight travel. My initiated self-quarantine was intuitive, I did not participate in going out socially, dinner parties, group fitness or yoga classes or lengthy conversations with my friends and family.
I was at home (while not at work) going inward and doing a complete inward overhaul. I didn't watch TV, all of the financial "extras" were gone. I was now supporting myself and my two sons 100% financially, emotionally, and spiritually. After tucking in my sons every night at 8:00pm I would begin my journeying through many forms. One of which was meditation, thinking about one word "LOVE" and what exactly it meant to me. I did this process for several years. I dreamed, philosphized and began deep insightful conversations with my angels and guides. I became a healer on many levels as a result of healing myself. I surrounded my early mornings with Sattvic prayer and read books from the greats, from other healers and from spiritual masters. I began and ended my day in deep spiritual contemplation.
I still do this.
As a result I was given information from my late sister who guides me often in my life, she said: "my business would be closing" and "to get my affairs in order." She further said: "Save every penny, pay off my studios credit card and loan debt and prepare." She imparted this to me on a sunny August afternoon in 2019 while I mopped the studio room floors. I sobbed, I couldn't understand why I would be closing... at the time. I could only hear part of what she was telling me but I followed her guidance. I got my affairs in order the following 6 months.
So I sit here today, knowing intuitively that my business will be okay, I will weather out the storm, and a new seed will unfold for me as I wait this out along with the rest of the planet. Except, I am not worried. I am not living in fear and I am not operating from a place of scarcity. I am sharing and moving at my own pace and from a place of healing, Love and intuition.
And you can too.
I have noticed my "mama bear" coming out recently in ways that have surprised me. Wanting to protect the masses from false information, judgment from the collective about which side they are on, propaganda across media platforms and many other hurtful ways I have witnessed, some subtle, some obvious. I have wanted to scream from the top of my lungs to everyone, stop what you are doing and GO WITHIN!
Here they all are - all the answers, they are within you.
They are not from facebook or twitter, they are not from your favorite news station, they are not from your neighbor or favorite healer or health care practitioner, they are unequivocally within you.
They have always been.
We don't need to sit on mountain tops or journey to the Himalayas to get the answers. We don't need every luxury on the planet to survive. We don't need air conditioning in our homes (and cars) for that matter to take away every ounce of discomfort we experience the moment it arises. We don't need the best plants and grass seed to make our homes beautiful while we wait this out. We don't need fancy vacations or mindless trips to our local "big box" stores to mask our unresolved pain, we don't need any of the superficial to make us feel better....Anymore.
I humbly implore each and every one of you to stop. Stop the confusion, stop the scrolling, stop wanting to take away every ache and pain that arises and go within. Ask your body what it needs, it knows implicitly and when you hear the answer go deeper still. Don't stop there. Ask the next question and the next. Ask your higher self how to save your business and then take action. Ask yourself all the hard and painful questions and maybe just maybe the best solution and answers will feel like swift uplifting grace.
The uncertainty is valid the waves of emotion can come fast and furious but so do the answers you seek, and they are roaring to come out.
All of this will resolve itself, it is part of a bigger picture of global healing. The trees are talking to us, the wind is talking to us, the question is...will you go within to hear the answer from this brilliant source, you? The answers are always there and they are waiting for you to pause, lean into the discomfort and listen.
Pema Chodron writes: "Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know."
Link to the letter referenced at the beginning.